It’s Wednesday night, plans have changed so it’s a night in front of Masterchef with as many brews as I can handle. We are only three days in and it’s already been a long week.
Long story short, I haven’t been feeling too well, details I will spare. But let’s just say it starts with anxiety, ends with anxiety and a whole load of anxiety crammed in the middle.
However today I did something that I didn’t think I had in me this week – I went the gym. Now this might not seem like anything, one half of my family is totally athletic, I have two sisters who run, two brothers who play tennis and a boyfriend who’s well into MMA. I joined this gym last year for a million reasons and developed a small love for it, I could see results, had a laugh with my friends and so on. But as illness struck, going just seemed too much, I would get back into it, then get ill, and stop and so on.
So today was my first day back after a couple of weeks, and to be completely honest I drove around the car park twice, burst into tears once and had to come home and go back before I made it in. But I did and 45 minutes later I was done.
Now this isn’t a post about going to the gym, you either do or you don’t and it’s not my job to sell it. However it is a post about small victories.
I wanted to send out some love to anyone who has felt the way I have these last few days (or worse), like everything and anything is too much. I understand. On Tuesday it took all my effort to get dressed (I wish it was acceptable to go out in Disney PJs) but I did it. And this is to all of you who climbed that mountain, whether it was going the gym, going the shops or just generally spending time away from your safe space. Whatever your little devil was that day, because you did it.
If you didn’t then that’s okay too, and if you cried and stomped your way through it then that’s okay too. You must be kind to yourself, this isn’t about anyone else.
Take your time, there is no rush. Here are the 3 things my trip to the gym taught me today:
- Be prepared – Its so much easier to complete the task if you have everything you need before hand, headphones, water bottle, whatever you need.
- Do what makes you happy – Turn your music loud, sit on the bike for the whole session if that’s what you enjoy, it doesn’t matter whether its leg day or not.
- If you don’t succeed at first then that’s okay. Like I said, drove round twice, well you know the story…
So if you wake up tomorrow and it takes four hits of the snooze button and wearing your lucky socks to get you out the door, just know I am proud of you, because you did it. Now keep going, look at how far you’ve come and the rest of the journey will be a million times easier.
But most importantly, and I have to add this bit because I care too much. Never be afraid to seek help, sometimes things are too much, but you are not alone.