I have never really been that much of an angry person. Grumpy yes, I love the occasional moan and rant but I’d never considered myself that angry.
However over the last few years, whilst being ill/dealing with things, I’ve really felt myself struggling. Swallowed up by feelings of anger, till I was almost shaking and crying. I couldn’t understand why.
Then I spoke to my CBT therapist on the phone and after a bit of a cry, she said to me (which I wanted to share with you today)
Anger is a symptom of three things; Fear, frustration and hurt.
It stayed with me and I mulled it over for hours. I realised that I could base nearly every time I’d been angry on one of these 3 things.
Scared by how ill I felt. Frustrated I’d been lied too. Hurt by the words said.
And whilst I’m not a therapist and in no way trained, I wanted to share this with you. Because things got so much easier once I viewed anger like this, it wasn’t something to feel ashamed off, but to accept and acknowledge. I felt like that because of things happening to me or around me.
I don’t like how I became or how I behaved and I regret some arguments and harsh words. But now I can see more clearly why I did it. I’m not some sort of monster like I told myself, I’m just human, responding to things.
Now I can see things more clearly, I can approach situations better and try not to overreact. Or at least understand why I feel the way I do.
I’m not claiming to be an expert but I hope this helps you to view things a little differently and feel better about things next time you get a bit grumpy. Don’t beat yourself up but try to accept the reasons behind and then next time it arises you can approach it better.
You have got this and you’re allowed to feel a million emotions! And you’re not a bad person for having a bad day.