It was midnight and I’d accidentally thrown my phone across the room, in the midst of an argument with (you guessed it) a boy. As I sat on my bed and had a little cry (mainly because I couldn’t find my phone for a while), it eventually dawned on me, that I’d completely disturbed my own peace, trying to fit around someone else.
I thought back to the last online dating drama I’d had and how at one point, it actually felt like someone had picked me up and shook me. I could actually feel how disoriented things had become, because I’d felt so much better and peaceful until it happened.
I’m afraid I should pre-warn that I have no real advice on how to keep the peace but let me be a reminder that you can feel it. And more importantly, that few things are worth disturbing your own peace for.
When I last spoke to my therapist, we talked about self-soothing. Whether that’s having a bath, wrapping in your favourite dressing gown, reading or generally just spending time doing things that make you feel a little better. I must admit, I’d never really though of it – despite being an advocate for self care, I viewed it more as a ‘build resilience and let yourself rest’. But it’s about so much more than that.
It’s about letting the dust settle until you find the balance and peace again.
Try and catch it when it happens, so you know what to avoid in the future. Whether it’s dating dramas, morning commute issues or leaving things to the last minute. Try and spot those disturbances and work to reduce them.
It happens and it doesn’t mean you won’t feel calmer and happier again, you just gotta take a deep breath and let it settle, ready to go again.